S.I.A.N.!
sian..a file in my computer is corrupted..then i couldnt even switch my computer on..i had no choice but 2 format my com AGAIN..tis's already e 2nd time in tis yr i format my com..now all my previous doc r GONE!!..including all my pictures, music, videos, games,&most impt of all..my PW articles & materials!!!..even though i save them in my email..&i haf aso printed everything out..but my whole data analysis's gone can?..now i haf 2 download & install everything back!!..can u imagine how troublesome tt's?..im doin it & isn't even halfway done..now i learn my lesson & next time i'll save everything in diskettes..hope my father can faster come..cos he bringing an external hard disk 4 me tis time..
oh yah..i quit library le..i was(& still am) sad about quitting it..cos i really tink library duty's very fun(i noe nobody'll believe wad i say but tt's how i really feel)..no choice la..i haf 2 give more time 2 my studies..i cant cope wif 2 cca..*sob*..now i tink all e librarians tink tt im such a b*tch..u noe..quit library jus becos i din get a post in ere..but u noe wat?..i dun give a damn!(2 e post thingy& those librarians..cos i neva join a cca 4 post..)
ok..jus got attack by tis bloody worm..need 2 go fix it now..bye!
a fight wif mum..
last nite i went 2 sleep at 8+(yes..i got up at 2pm tt day)..then at 10pm..my ma came into my room and woke me up cos she called our old neighbour and they invited us 2 their new home in sengkang..obviously, i refused 2 go cos i was deep in my sleep..but she kept nagging & toking & persuading me 2 go..then i got angry..i went 2 change & threw my pyjamas on the floor..she saw & she got angry..went 2 call our old neighbour & cancelled e trip..then we ended up in 'cold-war'..
my arguement: it was already 10 at nite..would any1 in their rite mind travel all e way 2 sengkang jus 2 visit their ex-neighbour?..they said they haf got left-over food & wanted 2 give us..but we can always collect it another day..y e hurry rite?..also..wun u feel paiseh if u jus go ere, take e food & go?obviously u'll stay 4 awhile & chit chat abit rite?..then by e time we set 2 gp home..wat if e last bus service's over?..then wat do we do?..about tt angry thingy..i was deep into my sleep..obviously any1'll get angry rite?..esp. when it's nth impt or urgent(like fall very sick suddenly)..then i threw my clothes on e floor..well, tt's my way o releasing my anger + frustration wat..i mean dun i deserve e right 2 release my anger?
she aso said tt i value frens more than family..tt i'll go out when my fren asked..but when she asked me, i dun..but doesnt she c..none o my frens'll actually call me up at 10+ at nite & ask me 2 go out immediately..then she went on wif fone calls..said no matter wat im doin, i always answer my frens' call..but u noe wat?..i neva wanted 2 answer calls when i m sleeping..she's always e 1 hu force me 2 wake up & answer calls frm frens..tell me..hu's being unreasonable here?
my mother's side o arguement:..*i too lazy + tired 2 write it here..but u can guess rite?i mean jus take a look mine & im sure u'll b able 2 tell wat my ma said*
anyway..we r no longer fighting..and becos i wanted 2 prove 2 her i dun answer calls when im sleepin..i rejected sh's call last nite..but i was tired aso la..dunno wat's wrong wif me..
2day i got up at 8.30..& started doing work frm 9.30 till 9.30..amazing rite?..i completed quite a few things 2day u noe..qutie proud o myself now..haha
1) comprehension(AQ included)
2) reading log
3) chinese composition
4) chinese comprehension
5) maths tutorial
6) chemistry tutorial(half done)
& when i was doin reading log..i flipped open my
Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English..& i saw sth very intersting..gave me a good laugh when i was reading it..but it's quite dirty + vulgar, so if u tink u r too innocent or decent 4 tis, then pls ignore tis part..
fuck 1 Fuck off! an offensive way of telling someone to go away:
fuck off you stupid bastard! 2*i should skip ris 1..*
3 fuck it/you/her/John! used to emphasize that you are annoyed or angry with someone or something:
Oh fuck it! I'm going home early!
fuck around also fuck sb about taboo spoken to make someone angry or annoyed by wasting their time:
The telephone company has been fucking me around all week.
fuck sb off [T]
taboo spoken to make someone feel annoyed or angry:
Steven really fucks me off when he doesn't write down my phone messages.
fuck sb over [T]
AmE taboo to treat someone very badly:
Bev had been fucked over so many times she no longer expected life to be fair.
fuck sb up [T]
taboo spoken to make someone very unhappy and confused so that they cannot control their life:
Heroin fucks you up.
fuck with sb[T]
taboo spoken to annoy someone or make them angry:
I wouldn't fuck with Alfie if i were you.
fuck up [T]
taboo spoken to make a mistake or do something badly:
You really fucked up this time.
ok..tis pary may sound abit crude..but i took down every single word frm e dictionary!!..anyway, sure i deserve a break after a day of work rite?..ok..tis kind o R-rated content'll not appear in here again..so dun worry!=]
yesterday was sh's b'dae..i haf been planning his b'dae since 1 month ago & surprisingly, i, tis big-mouth, din tell any1 about it. was planning some sort o a surprise 4 him..but i really dunno if it was sucessful becos he din look surprised when i gave him e present..anyway, we went 4 culture nite yesterday & i was half an hour late..(i was doin some touchin-up 4 tt present at home tt's y i was tt late)..when he saw me..he looked so angry like as though his blood was boiling..
nth much happened actually..e performance was alrite..after culture nite, it was already 9.30++, then we went 2 haf dinner(or shld u say supper?!)..after tt we went home..i was so tired i slept throughout e whole journey & i almost couldnt wake up on e bus..
i reached home at 12+..then i went 2 sleep at around 1..2day i got up at almost 2pm(my mother came into my room & force me 2 get up)..so can imagine how tired i am..im really exhausted..tis week haf been so busy..haiz..
actually i sorta planned 2 celebrate his b'dae 4 him..haf today's activity outline sorta planned out..but in e end i cant carry it out becos he has pw meeting 2day..& he has 2 catch up wif his tutorials..quite sad+disappointed..even if we celebrate it at a ltr time..e feeling'll b different..cos his b'dae's already over..really sad..
pw!!
project work's driving me crazy!..i must complete everything today i tink i wun b able to sleep tonite!!..hate PW!!*pulling my hair*
oh..jus remembered last nite when he was in my hse, i helped him sew his wallet..yes, surprisingly, i do sewing..haha..
but sewing & mending wallet is not the same as sewing other things..esp. when his's made of leather..it's really hard & thick & i had quite a hard time sewing it..i actually injured my index finger & now my fingers hurt cos it's very difficult 2 put the needle through..i sorta shouted but he was sleeping so soundly i bet he din hear me..it's ok cos i volunteered 2 mend it 4 him, nobody forced me 2 do it..well..tt's all i haf 2 say..
nth much happened tis weekend..tis sat i went 4 racial harmony day & it was quite fun cos e children were really noisy & stuff..no matter how many times i told them. they kept addressing me as 'teacher' until i gave up..haha..but it's fun 2 hear them calling me 'teacher' u noe..made me feel as though i was really 1..i was really tired after tt activity cos i woke up at 5am & slept at 1.30 e nite b4..and i was e team captain so i haf 2 walk around botanic garden wif e grp..but afterall, i still tink i had fun & i din really regret joinin..
after racial harmony day, i went out w sh..then we walked..& walked somemore..we watched 'brotherhood' & it's really good!..if u jus wanna catch 1 show tis month, pls watch 'brotherhood', u wun regret watching it!!
after e show, we, or rather, i, made a stupid decision. i abroaded bus 70 frm suntec cos it said it's goin 2 yio chu kang.sh was bein really nice & abroad e bus 2 send me home..in e end, tt stupid bus took 1 1/2 hour 2 reach yio chu kang, so by e time we reached yck, it was already 11.30pm..sh missed e last bus & he had no money 2 take cab home, so he came 2 my place.
i tot my mom'll jus lend him some money & asked him 2 take cab home, but instead, my mom asked him 2 sleep over in my place..he was too tired 2 move aso so he slept overnite in my hse..i was really happy cos i neva eva tot tt would happen..i still cant believe tt actually happened..in e end, he slept in my room & i was forced 2 sleep in my bro's room..
nth much, or i shld say nothin happened today..after i sent him off i went back 2 sleep till 3pm..yup..tt's all..i shld go try 2 tink o sth 2 write 4 my cl compo now..bye!
today too tired..my eyes wanna close le..tink should update next time..i'll try 2 update in details as soon as possible, u noe not tis kind o short notes..hafnt been getting enuff sleep tis week..finally today i can sleep earlier..so i go sleep now..bye!=]
...
been sick 4 almost a week..now no mood to write..i'll update next time when i haf e mood 2 do it..feeling really irritated now..i screwed up my life!..jus fought wif sh..
bad day..bad² day today..*haiz*..
2day's such a bad day 4 me!!..tis morning during PE, we ran only 2 rounds & i was panting like as if i had jus finished 6..e worse thing's tt, my timin slowed down..even though i din time myself, but i can tell..die!..next week it's 2.4km run already..i dun wanna fail it!!
got back a bit o chem & physics papers 2day..sian..i c my chem part 3 i can already tell im not gonna pass e rest o my paper..then physics was even a bigger shock 2 me..at 1st when i jus got it back..i was quite relieved tt i JUST passed my physics paper..then jus now during physics practical..he suddenly tell us they marked a question wrongly..& so..i FAILED!!..haha..now i already got 1 subject tt's an O'LEVEL PASS..& a lot of my classmates scored a C 4 physics..so tt's considered as really BAD..haiz..
on my way home..i dunno y i had a really bad gastric pain..it was so bad tt i couldnt even stand up..e pain was unbearable..hate gastric pain..i swear i took my lunch in school& i ate quite alot..i dunno y i still haf gastric pain when i wasnt even feelin hungry..tink it's jus my luck..
tmr im gonna get back e rest o my papers..maths..gp..CLA..& chem..haha..im really scared i cant take e shock..even though im already expecting all Fs(as in FFFF-4 A'level & F 4 gp as well)..but still it's scary 2 c them written on papers..in black & white(ok..in tis case..in red & white)..rite in front o ur face..haiz..dun feel like goin 2 sch tmr..dunno how 2 face those papers..i haf done them gr8 injustice by doin so badly..fillin them up wif wrong answers..sad case..
i haf given some serious thoughts as 2 'wat if i cant get promoted?'..i noe it's like *touch wood*..but i haf 2 prepare myself 4 tt so i wun panic if tt really happens..anyway..after much consideration..i decided tt if i really cant get promoted..i'll transfer 2 poly instead..i even tot o e course 2 take ere..i wanna take dentistry..&i'll use e 1st half o e yr 2 work..becos i noe i'll fall into depression if i choose 2 repeat J1..then at least after i graduate frm poly, i'll haf a diploma& b able 2 work in some dental clinic..c!..i haf got my future all planned!(but i reallyx10 dun want tis 2 happen cos i wun noe how 2 face my family..)
haiz..now need 2 do pw le..so shld stop here..do pray tt i'll update tmr..becos if u dun c any updates..most probably it means tt im dead(went 2 kill myself cos i cant take e shock)..
oh yah..btw..sh..jus ignore wat i wrote yest..or at least dun take it 2 heart..i dunno wat's wrong wif me..i dun even noe e real reason y i was upset..guess it was jus mood-swing & u so happen 2 b ere..sorry!=[
i was actually planning 2 update ltr in e evening..change my mind in e end cos i noe it wun make an diff when i write cos nth interesting's gonna happen ltr, it's still gonna b tis dead boring..so i decided 2 update now then ltr when my bro comes home he can use e com..
my bro's so nice 2 me today..he actually left his fone at home& allow me 2 use it..haha..he said i can use all i want..actually it's becos he was charging his fone so he couldnt bring it out..but anyway..it's really rare..haha
ok..last nite i was darn irritated + pissed off..i dunno y aso..i jus felt tt way..*sian*..i was mad at sh 4 no reason..no reason at all..ok..mayb ere was a reason y i was annoyed, but i dunno wat's it..all he said was tt he couldnt go out today cos he had 2 do his pw &i was annoyed..i refused 2 go 2 his hse..i even refused 2 step out o my hse 2day..i dunno y..i mean ere's nth 4 me 2 b angry about rite?..like wat i always say(&i mean it!)..studies and any other related 2 it r the most impt things 2 us now &they shld b placed as our very top priority..so y shld i b annoyed jus becos he was jus doin things according 2 their importancce?!..pw's related 2 studies & so it's definitely far more impt than goin ut wif me..so..yuk..wat r u mad about?!
guess im e selfish 1..i want him 2 spend all his free time wif me..like other than sch&cca..he shld b wif me..tt's really inconsiderate!!..i mean i shld giv him some personal time rite?..like 4 him 2 study, do homework, spend time wif his family& friends..we cant stick 2 each other 24/7..we cant do everything 2gether..
tink im becoming more & more dependent on him & tt's seriously not a good sign..i mean wat'll happen 2 me if he's not around 1 day?!(e.g in e future..ns?!)..if i become too dependent on him, i'll definitely collasp when tt day arrives..yuk!..cant allow tt 2 happen!!..must try 2 become independent again!..if not u cant survive!!..I.N.D.E.N.P.E.N.D.E.N.C.E.!!
*oh yah..i was really pissed when he told me he haf research attachment 4 e whole o dec hol..but i must b more understanding..tt's his dream..i shldnt b selfish & make things difficult 4 him..anyway, im very sure i'll b able 2 find meaningful things 2 do during e hol..
**haha..im always making things difficult 4 him..im so bad..haix..
S.I.A.N.
last nite b4 i talked 2 sh 4 at least 3hr& tt was suppose 2 b a short time(we had spent more than 4 hrs chatting on fone w him b4, if i din rmb wrongly)..anyway, i couldnt rmb wat we tok about already..it's always lidat..we spent hours toking but i couldnt recall the things tt we tok about..wheneva i spent time w him..time flies w/o me knowing..anyway, we chatted till 4+am then i went 2 sleep..
i got up at 12noon today..then din really did much..i folded my clothes&ironed my uniforms..organised my files and clean my tables..tt's about all i tink..
char called me in the afternoon& asked me 2 go 4 tt ij sch thingy at chijmes at 4 in the morning..when my mother has finally allowed me 2 go and we had settled everything..we then found out it was already over..it took place tis early morning..haha..we'r so blur..
then after dinner..kenneth they all suddenly called me &asked me go orchard and haf dinner wif them..so sad he din call earlier..if not i may b able 2 go..but really thx them 4 asking me along..so T.H.A.N.K. Y.O.U.!!
well, it may seems like today's a very boring day..yes..i aso tink tt today's quite boring..like nth much took place& stuff..but i enjoyed myself 2day becos i hafnt been able to slack around at home like tis w/o any worries 4 a very long time..
..really hope tt today never ends..but i noe tt wun happen..so i jus haf 2 treasure e time left today..
today, yestaerday and the day b4 yesterday..
hafnt been uodating here 4 2 days..on thu my dad&bro were using e com & so ere wasnt a chance 4 me 2 use e com..yest i reached home very late&i was too tired 2 do anything at all..
..the day b4 yesterday..
i din go 2 sch tt day but i woke up much earlier than my usual hol time cos i was supposed 2 meet sh after his bio paper..i slept at like 2am e nite b4&i almost couldnt get up in e morning..
after we met..we went out(as usual)..and we went 2 watch 'around the world in 80 days'..well..until now im still feel quite bad about the fact tt he paid 4 my ticket..i jus dun feel right when ppl spend money or treat me 2 things w/o a reason(like birthday)..dunno if i shld try 2 get used 2 it though..haha..if i got used 2 ppl treating me..then i'll become dependent&i dun want tt 2 happen..but if i dun..i'll always feel bad wheneva any1 treat me..guess e best way 2 solve tis problem's 2 stop ppl, esp. sh, frm treating me..haha..
when i got home..i realised tt my fone's really spolit..i spolit it..i couldnt even charge it..so now i noe..ere's nothing wrong w e battery..it's my fone tt has problem..haha..my dad's bring it back 2 repair..so i haf 2 wait till sep hol b4 i can use my fone again..no fone 4 a term..and since im using a plan..tt aso means i ha 2 pay 4 e basic bill even if i din use my fone at all..haha..how gr8!
*sorry..thu's quite long ago 4 me(esp. when i haf really short-term memory)..so i couldnt really recall wat happened on tt day..=P
..yesterday..
so much happened yesterday!..in e morning it was pouring like crazy..i waited 4 265 4 like 15min but not a single bus came..so i went 2 another bus stop and waited 4 another 15min 4 269..so by the time i left my hse area, it was already 6.30..by e time i reached hougang, it was already 7.10 and no matter how, i wun b able 2 reach sch on-time by bus..so i decided 2 take a cab 2 sch cos i dun wanna do CWO..but i stood ere 4 like 10min and i couldnt hail one..i was already so nervous i couldnt b bothered about CWO anymore..i jus wished i can made it 2 sch b4 listening start..finally, at around 7.25, i got onto a cab&luckily i reached school 10 min b4 listening began..but after taking e cab, half o the money inside my wallet's gone..i was supposed 2 treat sh 2 'the best bet' tt day..
after listening, i went 2 sh'hse&i dun even noe wat we did, cos i, again, slept really late e nite b4 so i was really tired, i fell asleep& we jus slacked around..and at around 1, we left 4 'the best bet'.again..he treated me 2 it&now i feel even worse..he has paid 4 2 movies& im feeling guilty seriously..
after e movie..i cant rmb wat we did aso..somehow..we jus end up goin home at 10..haha..i found tt quite amazing aso..i spent more than 14hours w him yest..
when we went home, he din send me home cos he had 2 rush home..well, frankly speaking, i was qutie annoyed 4 like..erm..30sec?!..cos it was already 10pm& i was in e middle o nowhere..but only 4 tt 30sec..after tt i wasnt annoyed anymore cos i noe he had 2 rush home if not his parents'll find out..die..im becoming more&more dependent on him..must not let myself become lidat!..must b I.N.D.E.N.P.E.N.T. ..like last time!!
i reached home at like 11.30pm..my parents were sitting ere watching tv..my dad nagged me like crazy..not really becos i went out till so late..but becos i din call home 2 tell them if im going back 4 dinner..ok..so now i learnt my lesson..must call home 2 tell them if i going back 4 dinner next time..
*sorry..cant really rmb e things happened yesterday aso..i haf really³ short-term memory u c..
..today..
i slept so late last nite(yes..again..)..and i haf 2 wake up so early 2day!!..my dad woke me up at 9am..cos we were suppose 2 go 2 ICA 2 renew our re-entry permit..then after we r done..we went 2 PS..then we walked 2 orchard..and we window-shopped abit(my dad doesnt like window-shop)..then we went home..so nothing much really happened..
we spent most of our time walking on the road, trying 2 look 4 the correct bus stop 2 go home..haha..and now my legs r aching cos yest i haf walked quite abit then plus today..
jus realised i hafnt go 2 orchard road wif my fam 4 quite long..like 1/2 year already..i always go ere wif my frens..like almost go ere on a weekly basis..haha..
my dad's gong back tmr..dun really haf any feeling about tt.like usual lor..
time to haf my dinner!bye!
