I wish that zhu-zhu will rest in peace.
Buried him next to xiao-ai, hopefully they will get along well and xiao-ai will take good care of my beloved baby.
I miss him a lot but I know this is how life works..
a story
found this post when I was cleaning up my blog entries.. by the look of it think I have not finished copying the story from zaobao..but the story is still nice nonetheless.. if anyone knows the ending, please inform me and I will complete this post.
有一个女孩每天都向佛祖祈求，希望佛祖能让她再看到踏春时那个令他一见钟情的男孩。后来，佛祖被她的诚意打动了，并现身跟她说要放弃现在的一切，包括爱她的家人，幸福的生活，还必须修炼五百年的道行，才能见他一面。
女孩立刻向佛祖跪拜叩头，并说：“可以，我能够。我不会后悔的。”说毕，女孩变成了一块大石头。
一年一年的过去了，五百年的风吹雨打，苦不堪言的是寂寞。最后一年，一个采石队来了，把大石头运进了城里，见了一座石桥。于是女孩变成了石桥的护栏。
石桥建成的第一天，女孩就看见那让她等了五百年的男孩。可是，那男孩匆匆地走过石桥，便马上消失在女孩的视线之外。
这时，佛祖又出现了，并问：“你满意了吗？”
“不！为什么？为什么我只是石桥的护栏？我甚至不能摸他一下！”
佛祖回答：“你想摸他一下？那你还得修炼五百年。你吃了那么多苦，不后悔吗？”
女孩义不容辞地说她愿意这么做，她不后悔。
女孩变成了一棵大树。
然后，又过了一个五百年。
最后一天，女孩知道他会来，但她的心竟然不再激动了。
然后，来了。他来了。
他走到大树下，坐在树荫下，靠着树睡着了。
女孩摸到他了！但她无法告诉他这千年的相思，她只能默默地为他阻挡阳光。
一会儿，他醒了，他看了这棵帮他遮荫的大树一眼后，便头也不回地走了。
佛祖又出现了，说：“你还想做他的妻子吗？那还得修炼。”
女孩回答道：“是的，我是很想，但是不必了。”
drama
i love watching shows that make me cry.
it's not that i dislike comedy, i don't mind having a good laugh after a show. but i prefer, way prefer, drama with a very heavy theme, something that will make viewers feel very heavy after the show.
call me sick but i really enjoy the feeling.
people like to watch comedy because it can help them forget the stress and burdens they have for a while. eve though it cannot actually lighten their load, it helps by providing viewers a chance to breathe and forget all their troubles.
but why do i like sad shows?
my all-time favourite will be this Japanese movie called "love letter", it is a movie with a super heavy theme. i could not breathe after i watched the movie, for it was so heavy i almost suffocate.
maybe because my life is so boring i need something to tell me that i am actually alive?
i spend my days like a zombie, without much emotions and feelings. everyday it is about going to school, then tuition, then home. my life is about studying, pull my grades up, go out with dear, tuition.
i am deprived of feelings and emotions. i need a channel to utilise them; to remind myself that i can still feel, i am not a real zombie,
yet.
think i am experiencing a very early mid-life crisis.
my final exam
it is already the second week of my final exam.. this week, I get a taste of doing real audit.. I follow an engagement team to this small MNC.. basically, audit is not that fun, I have to do tests on almost every item on their balance sheet.. the deadline is this Friday, but my senior decides to push the deadline forward to Wednesday..
how exciting right?
this internship is so different from the previous one.. hmmm.. maybe it is like real working life vs holiday? Can't imagine my life is going to be like now after I graduate.. this is not what I really wish for..
sigh.. this world is so cruel..
*p.s. blogging at my client's place now.. cool huh?
this is ridiculous
i am in my room now.. unwillingly.. i am being locked up..
was mopping the floor.. the wind blew.. my room door slammed.. and when i tried to open it.. i can't.. my brother tried to open from the outside, with keys.. also can't open it..
apparently the lock spoils.. that thing at the side (which keeps your door closed) won't retireve when i turn the knob..
now my mum's back & i heard her laughing.. great.. i feel so dumb now..
really feel like a dumba*s..
i feel at peace. =)
I wish I..
- can age gracefully.
- will feel comfortable just being myself.
- come to terms with aging.
However, let me enjoy my youth for now... pardon me for my immaturity and the thought of wanting to appear youthful. I will learn to accept all those mention above when the time is right.
One pressing wish for now though:
Let me do well for my Law!not asking for too much.. just good enough to not pull my already miserable CAP down further will do..
amazing!
or at least I think I am..
I did nothing but projects today! did industry analysis for beer market in Singapore this morning.. after lunch went back to face my lovely laptop and drilled myself to look at the features of qualifying deductions for tax.. after dinner came back to my lovely room again and started editing the presentation for tax.. now my butt hurts.. *ouch!*
was supposed to go for a meeting today but I played truant at the last minute because I was too late.. the beer report gave me a lot of headache..
went to have my favourite
ice kachang in Yio Chu Kang today.. feel so satisfied.. just 1 bowl of
ice kachang can make me feel rewarded.. i'm easily satisfiable..haha..
realised I have 2 presentations this coming week.. haha.. this week is packed to the brim! :D
trade-off for "no exam"..
Ha! I know why am I feeling so depressed now!
I am out of touch! I am insulated! I am alone!
I am feeling lonely..
I feel empty..
p.s. I would really like to dedicate the next part of my post to this special someone,
Thank you for being so pragmatic, it was really nice of you to change so much after this particular incident happened. Now I know how it feels like to have no one by your side.
Really like to thank you for giving me this opportunity to have a taste of being abandoned. And I hope you will get a taste of it soon too. This is part and parcel of growing up, I figured. =)
And let me tell you this: I could not get it does not mean that I am not good enough. In the same sense, you got it does not mean that you are in any way superior than me. So stop giving me this feeling that I am inferior, I am not! And stop treating me like I am unwanted, if you really think that I am a pest to you, say it and I will never bother you again.
But think twice before you do anything harsh though; you are not that popular either, you don't have that many cushions to fall on.
And stop playing with others. You will get your retribution one day.
Hope you know who you are. =)
it is almost to the brim!!
1 test, 2 projects due next week.
2 tests and 2 more projects due the following week.
and my groups have not really started on any of the projects.
so cool~
=)
