pieces of me

to someone who is very important to me:

why? why are you like this?
why must you make me dislike you whenever we talk?

i hate myself for disliking you, do you know that? yet i can't stop myself from feeling this way.. i can't help it.

everytime you want to initiate a conversation with me, it's never anything good. you know how bad that feels?

it's like we can never have a nice conversation, ever since i enter jc. i feel very bad. yet, i can't help it. i just can't speak to you nicely whenever you talk to me, 'cause i know it'll definitely be something bad.

why can't you just have a conversation with me without wanting to lecture/nag/scold/discipline me?
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just now, you asked me to ________________________, i was so happy do you know that? i thought finally you are going to accept him as___________ and that you want to take a look personally.. but how wrong was i.. you wanted to see/meet because you want to give another lecture, another scolding.. when will this ever end? when will your lecture, your nag, your scolding ever stop? why is it that everything i do is wrong?

i know you said those words out of concern for my health, i really, sincerely, appreciated that. but did it have to come out from you in that tone, that manner?
why must you make it sound like it's definitely something bad? why must you see this as something bad for me? why must you always think that i am not going to make it?

please give me an answer.

just an observation for a week does not prove everything; just dropping by some time in a long while in my life does not mean you can understand me.. i know i have to respect you, but your action, your words..

i want to respect you; i want to listen to you and believe that your words are reasonable and rationale; i want to have a proper conversation with you..

since when did our relationship become so tense?

can we turn back time?

can't you have a little more faith in me?

...

posted by +abrac[A]dabra+ @ 23:27