pieces of me

a big scare..

last night after i put down the phone, my mum ran into my room & told me, "jie, xiao ai's bleeding!".. i was almost scared to death when i saw her.. she was hiding at a corner, shivering, looking at that big "blood print"(we use paper as her bedding in the basket & so the blood spread & absorbed by the paper) & she looked so scared.. xiao ai is so small & she bled really alot for her size.. that "blood-print" is as big as her body.. i panicked & was totally at lost when i saw her blood.. when she moved, she continue to bleed non-stop..

at first i thought it came from her private part (i brought her to vet because of that).. but i was wrong; after my mum caught hold of her, we realised it was her tumour that's bleeding, just like what my mum suspected.. it seems like one of her chewing toy injured her tumour & it burst (her tumore is really huge & it looked like it was going to burst if we touch it).. i was so upset, 'cause i bought her the toy for her to play, i never expect the toy i bought would injured her.. it's like my fault that her tumour burst: if i did not buy the toy, then her tumour won't burst & she would not have to bleed so much & undergo such pain..

we tried to bandage her, but she's too furry & small, we finished bandaging her, & once she moved, the bandage's detached.. we cannot use tape or plaster because we scare she'll bite it off, or her fur'll drop when we remove the tape.. again, i felt guilty.. just on sunday, sh asked me bring xiao ai's medicine for injury home, but i didn't because i thought now she's alone, she won't get injured.. if only i brought home her medicine on sunday, then we would have the medicine there to treat her wound.. & becuase we did not have any medicine with us, we used medicine for human.. now i so scared the medicine we applied on her may poison her or something.. because i don't know what's the content & even though it's safe for us, i'm not sure if it's harmful for hamsters.. what if she licked it & poison to death? or one of the content inside the medicine will worsen her tumour? i am worried sick.. so scared she'll die when no one's home..

now i really know how important xiao ai's to me..

posted by +abrac[A]dabra+ @ 10:49