pieces of me

hate it!

i don't understand why i have to go through all these trouble. they are none of my business.

whether they come or not is not my problem. all i have to do is stay out late until everyone is asleep, & leave my house before everyone gets up. i am free from all the trouble.

why do they have to come complain to me about each other? they are supposed to be each other's soul mate, why can't they just talk to each other about their problem? why must they always come to me?

i know i am supposed to be happy. happy because you see me as an adult, someone who is mature enough to listen to their problem. but hello? i am your daughter as well. what are you doing by telling me all the negative things about your partner? want me to dislike him/her? want me to side with you?

i am your daughter. you are my parents. of course i want to see a happy and harmonious family. and since you are not talking things out, then i will be the bridge and help you two to understand what is on each other's mind.

but what do i get in return? nothing but scolding.

you both claim that i side with the other party. but c'mon, why should i side with any one of you? i don't owe one more than the other. i can't gain anything if i take sides.

and so, i choose to keep quiet. whenever you talk, i just listen without giving any comment. what happened? scolding again.

you say i am not concern about you; say i am not paying attention; say what is the point of raising me up when i am apathetic towards their problem.

tell me what you want.

and so, i got angry. i shouted, i threw tantrum. it has been years since i last threw tantrum at home, at least something of this scale.
i can guess what they are going to say about me already: i am not filial, i raised my voice when i talked to them. i am useless.. blah blah blah..

i am really frustrated. whatever i do is wrong. you two are not treating me like a friend, are you? both of you just take me as a "sandbag", vent your frustration and anger you have on each other on me.
i have had enough.i am not your puppet; i am an individual who have my own way of thinking. none of you can "pull" me to your side, for i will side no one.

i need some space.

so from now on, i should not be bothered; i give up helping. since both of you don't like to hear about what the other party think, then i tell you what you want to hear, OK? in fact, i will help to add in extra "seasoning", if that is what you are looking for.

i know you two may end up getting divorce if i really go all out to do it. but, isn't that what you want? if not, why did you scold me for saying what the other party think?

i shall not be a busybody anymore. i shall be oblivious to my surrounding and let you do whatever you want.

seriously, i have enough problem of my own, i don't need to add more items on my "list of problems", but i took the time to listen; i took the time to talk to you. have you ever wonder why i did that?

because i love you, mummy and daddy. i don't want to see you argue. i want a happy family.

all these would not have happened if they talked to each other, in a calm manner.

next time i will not be like them.
at least, i will not complain to my children the negative things about their dad, because it is really harmful.
i am a victim, so i know.

posted by +abrac[A]dabra+ @ 12:50