pieces of me

days in Hong Kong..

hi everyone, finally i update my blog. currently i am in Hong Kong, physically.

am i enjoying myself? people must be wondering. to tell you the truth, i am wondering if i am enjoying myself also. why not i put it this way: i am stuck in Hong Kong. guess this will better show the picture?

yes, i love shopping here, the things here are freaking much cheaper than those in Singapore. shoes that cost at least 29.90 in SGD only cost 13 to 16 HKD (hence i bought 5 pairs already and there are at least 2 more on my list); you can get clothes that usually cost minimum 20++ in Singapore in Hong Kong at half price; even electronic goods and gadgets (cameras included) are must cheaper than Singapore [yuan, i think your camera is much cheaper in Hong Kong also leh, cause sh said his is at least $600 cheaper in HK than S'pore, you can check with him]

indeed, i have a great time shopping here, but i am not happy, why?

because happiness cannot be fulfilled by material goods. yes, i get to buy a lot of things in Hong Kong, but i lost the freedom i enjoyed in Singapore. can anyone imagine i have to hide all the things i buy with my own, hard-earned, money because my father will scold if he finds out that i bought so many things? everything we do, we have to ask him for permission.

how happy can i be? it feels more like entering a prison than going on a holiday. we tidied up the house for him, he scolded us for throwing his rubbish away; i changed HKD before i came back, he scolded me for doing that, said i should changed with him instead; whenever i go out with him, i wasn't even allowed to look at things because he would be unhappy. i guess he is too used to living alone and has become less considerate for others, especially his family.

how happy can i be? when i feel so strange in this city. i grew up here, yet i feel so out-of-place. i am not a tourist, but neither am i a local, everything seem so foreign to me. can anyone understand this feeling? like you are supposed to belong here but you don't feel the attachment? i have this awkward feeling every day.

how happy can i be? my friend is going through something tough for quite some time already, yet i JUST found out. why? because my house here have no router and so my laptop can't gain access to Internet, and my brother and father take turns to hog onto the computer i have no chance to blog-surf only until today. i feel quite useless, i know even if i am back in Singapore there is nothing much i can do, but being ignorant just made me feel more useless. i know even best friend can't be there for someone 24/7 (sometimes we just have to face our problems alone), but i just feel freaking darn useless.

i know this may look really stupid, but i really like to apologise for being ignorant about your problems and not showing concern earlier.):

this may sound a bit like 无痛呻吟, but i am really not that quite enjoying myself here. and knowing that i am quite useless now just made me feel worse about myself.


can't wait for sh to come HK.


*sorry, no photos to upload. i am too sian to take any photos, i mean, what's the point? let's just wait for sh to do the job.*

posted by +abrac[A]dabra+ @ 09:41