pieces of me

loser.

feels like a complete loser.

why do i always have to feel like one whenever i go to a new school/ environment?

why can't i just excel in the things i do, just like others?

why do i always end up lagging behind all my peers until the last minute?

i have been chasing, chasing ever since i came to singapore 8++ years back. i have been trying so hard, to catch up with everyine else, so that i won't be left behind. but what do i get in the end?

totally drained and exhausted.

just when i thought i have finally caught up with everyone else, when i thought i have finally slow my pace down a bit, when i thought i can relax and enjoy the scenery...

i fall again.

even though it is not a major fall (i did not have any broken bones or anything like that, maybe just some scratches and some bleeding?), it's still a warning. life is warning me i can never slow down; i will never get the priviledge to enjoy the scenery like everyone else.

what do i have to do then?

continue running, running in full speed, or maybe even faster than my full speed. just to catch up with the rest again. not to be left behind again.

why? why is it so difficult for me to enjoy life?

i have no control over the speed i want to travel; life make me travel at this speed.

i am exhausted. when can i ever rest? when can i ever stop chasing and still able to catch up with the rest?

the day i die?

苦中作乐，但是，我没有“作乐”这两个字。

posted by +abrac[A]dabra+ @ 01:14